Laying Down (and Running) the Gauntlet
[This article was published -- albeit heavily diluted. It was one part Nahan, three parts editorial information. As one of my colleagues later observed: "all the humour was taken out." What can you do?]
[I also had a gameplan published in which I disclosed how I planned to sprint the first 5km of the 10km. I spoke about how Hunter S Thompson has came up with the plan but never put it into action. Having submitted the story I got the following e-mail from my editor:
Gary Meenaghan's Cunning Plan
Contenders Ready? Gladiators Ready? 3…2…1!
Sitting in the Emirates Today cafeteria, wearing a bland grey shirt and black trousers and talking about his recent fitness programme in terms of “investing” in health, “taking stock” of dieting effects and “merging” pleasure and leisure, Anthony Richardson was born to be a business reporter. Apparently however, it has not always been this way.
Ten years ago, while most 20-year-old students dreamt of graduating from university or saving enough money to afford something other than Super Noodles for dinner, Richardson had far greater – albeit far less realistic – ambitions.
“I actually used to really want to be a contestant on Gladiators,” admits the politely spoken Englishman, who is just one of a small group of Emirates Today staff registered to run the Standard Chartered Dubai 10km tomorrow morning. “I would watch it every Saturday in my halls of residence and I even went as far as to go to the gym to try and build up my upper body,” he says. “Only now can I see how naïve I was being.”
Aged 30, Richardson wears wire-rimmed spectacles, sits slightly slouched in his seat and sips a frothy cappuccino; it is hard to imagine him breaking sweat over anything other than fluctuations in the Dubai Financial Market, let alone battling it out with the cult British game show’s infamous bad guy, Wolf.
“I’m the first person to admit that perhaps I am no longer in peak physical condition,” says Richardson genuinely, “but I am taking this race seriously” – and it is a race. Around the Emirates Today office in Al Quoz, Dubai, competitive streaks are beginning to take charge. While, yes, “it is the taking part that counts” and “none of us expect to win”, the fact remains: nobody wants to be the shameful last journalist to complete the jog. Nobody wants the wooden spoon.
“Before six weeks ago I couldn’t run a bath,” jokes Richardson, “Now I am at the stage where I’ve been doing maybe three outdoor runs a week varying between five and seven kilometres each time. So, I’m getting there.”
Richardson’s outdoor runs may be doing more long-term harm than good however. “When I come to the end of these runs, I suffer real discomfort in my lower legs; I get shin splints and pains in my calf muscles. And that is a bit of a worry because I find I have to push myself through the pain barrier every time I go out for a run,”
Layne Redman, the manager of The Hayya! Springs Gymnasium, says he believes the best way to start getting fit from scratch is in a gym: “First off, don’t start running straight away; build yourself up gradually. While running outside is great, it is best to build up strength in the gym first.”
Redman recommends that people lacking fitness should initially get going by taking to a bike: “A lot of cycling builds up leg muscles and cardiovascular fitness, then start out on the treadmill, but only walking. Build yourself up slowly.”
When I relay this advice to Richardson, he seems resigned to running with the pain and nonchalantly responds: “Oh well, too late now.”
Too late indeed. Tomorrow morning at 7.10am, participants in the Standard Chartered Dubai 10km Challenge will be on their marks and set outside the World Trade Center. Reportedly more than 5,000 runners are registered to run the full 42km marathon, which starts 10 minutes before the 10km Challenge, so it is recommended participants arrive in plenty of time.
Redman does have some advice that may be appreciated by our roving business reporter, however. “The night before the race get plenty of rest and don’t eat any heavy foods,” says the Hayya! manager. “Bananas and lots of other fruits are the best things to eat. Also prepare yourself mentally. Talk to friends and family – if you’ve got support it helps a lot.”
With all of Richardson’s family currently braving the torrential rains back in Plymouth in the south of England, he is instead relying on his friends and colleagues at Emirates Today to support him.
Fellow business reporter Matt Smith and Business Editor Yadullah Itjehadi say they will be cheering on their desk’s sole flag-flyer – in spirit. While Itjehadi says he will, from the comfort of his bedroom, send Richardson a text message before the race, Smith admits, “7am is a little bit too early for me. I’ll probably just wish him good luck the night before and, if he finishes, congratulate him once he crawls into the office in pain the next day.”
Recovering from a long-distance run can certainly be a drawn-out process if you fail to take the right action. As soon as the race is over, a gentle warm down that stretches the muscles is essential and Redman advises plenty liquids: “Make sure you drink lots of fluids, lots of isotonic drinks and lots of water. And certain foods too – lots of fruit, nothing too heavy and nothing too stodgy. Keep it healthy.”
Despite the lower-leg pains and the floundering support team, Richardson remains in good spirits and is looking forward to representing the newspaper. In fact, depending on how he copes tomorrow, he is even considering registering for next year’s marathon – and maybe more.
“It’s the first time I’ve ran anywhere for about 10 years and I’m feeling good about it. As for the marathon, 12 months is plenty time to train but who knows? I certainly didn’t think I would be in Dubai this time last year so I’m not ruling anything out just yet.”
The Gladiators team are allegedly watching with muted anticipation.
Ten years ago, while most 20-year-old students dreamt of graduating from university or saving enough money to afford something other than Super Noodles for dinner, Richardson had far greater – albeit far less realistic – ambitions.
“I actually used to really want to be a contestant on Gladiators,” admits the politely spoken Englishman, who is just one of a small group of Emirates Today staff registered to run the Standard Chartered Dubai 10km tomorrow morning. “I would watch it every Saturday in my halls of residence and I even went as far as to go to the gym to try and build up my upper body,” he says. “Only now can I see how naïve I was being.”
Aged 30, Richardson wears wire-rimmed spectacles, sits slightly slouched in his seat and sips a frothy cappuccino; it is hard to imagine him breaking sweat over anything other than fluctuations in the Dubai Financial Market, let alone battling it out with the cult British game show’s infamous bad guy, Wolf.
“I’m the first person to admit that perhaps I am no longer in peak physical condition,” says Richardson genuinely, “but I am taking this race seriously” – and it is a race. Around the Emirates Today office in Al Quoz, Dubai, competitive streaks are beginning to take charge. While, yes, “it is the taking part that counts” and “none of us expect to win”, the fact remains: nobody wants to be the shameful last journalist to complete the jog. Nobody wants the wooden spoon.
“Before six weeks ago I couldn’t run a bath,” jokes Richardson, “Now I am at the stage where I’ve been doing maybe three outdoor runs a week varying between five and seven kilometres each time. So, I’m getting there.”
Richardson’s outdoor runs may be doing more long-term harm than good however. “When I come to the end of these runs, I suffer real discomfort in my lower legs; I get shin splints and pains in my calf muscles. And that is a bit of a worry because I find I have to push myself through the pain barrier every time I go out for a run,”
Layne Redman, the manager of The Hayya! Springs Gymnasium, says he believes the best way to start getting fit from scratch is in a gym: “First off, don’t start running straight away; build yourself up gradually. While running outside is great, it is best to build up strength in the gym first.”
Redman recommends that people lacking fitness should initially get going by taking to a bike: “A lot of cycling builds up leg muscles and cardiovascular fitness, then start out on the treadmill, but only walking. Build yourself up slowly.”
When I relay this advice to Richardson, he seems resigned to running with the pain and nonchalantly responds: “Oh well, too late now.”
Too late indeed. Tomorrow morning at 7.10am, participants in the Standard Chartered Dubai 10km Challenge will be on their marks and set outside the World Trade Center. Reportedly more than 5,000 runners are registered to run the full 42km marathon, which starts 10 minutes before the 10km Challenge, so it is recommended participants arrive in plenty of time.
Redman does have some advice that may be appreciated by our roving business reporter, however. “The night before the race get plenty of rest and don’t eat any heavy foods,” says the Hayya! manager. “Bananas and lots of other fruits are the best things to eat. Also prepare yourself mentally. Talk to friends and family – if you’ve got support it helps a lot.”
With all of Richardson’s family currently braving the torrential rains back in Plymouth in the south of England, he is instead relying on his friends and colleagues at Emirates Today to support him.
Fellow business reporter Matt Smith and Business Editor Yadullah Itjehadi say they will be cheering on their desk’s sole flag-flyer – in spirit. While Itjehadi says he will, from the comfort of his bedroom, send Richardson a text message before the race, Smith admits, “7am is a little bit too early for me. I’ll probably just wish him good luck the night before and, if he finishes, congratulate him once he crawls into the office in pain the next day.”
Recovering from a long-distance run can certainly be a drawn-out process if you fail to take the right action. As soon as the race is over, a gentle warm down that stretches the muscles is essential and Redman advises plenty liquids: “Make sure you drink lots of fluids, lots of isotonic drinks and lots of water. And certain foods too – lots of fruit, nothing too heavy and nothing too stodgy. Keep it healthy.”
Despite the lower-leg pains and the floundering support team, Richardson remains in good spirits and is looking forward to representing the newspaper. In fact, depending on how he copes tomorrow, he is even considering registering for next year’s marathon – and maybe more.
“It’s the first time I’ve ran anywhere for about 10 years and I’m feeling good about it. As for the marathon, 12 months is plenty time to train but who knows? I certainly didn’t think I would be in Dubai this time last year so I’m not ruling anything out just yet.”
The Gladiators team are allegedly watching with muted anticipation.
From left: Anthony "The Gladiator" Richardson, Aimee Greavsie and Myself
[I also had a gameplan published in which I disclosed how I planned to sprint the first 5km of the 10km. I spoke about how Hunter S Thompson has came up with the plan but never put it into action. Having submitted the story I got the following e-mail from my editor:
"Gary, I don’t want to be a pain – but I need a rewrite on your first-person account. One that doesn’t feature any post-Beat Generation adrenochrome-crazed authors, preferably..."
Old Meenaghan, always pushing those boundaries. Here it is...
Gary Meenaghan's Cunning Plan
In Hunter S Thompson's forgotten classic The Curse of Lono, the Gonzo journalist and his trusty photographer find themselves registered to run the Honolulu Marathon in Hawaii.
In typical Thompson style, he has every intention of winning and concocts a plan: “We will come out the block like human torpedoes and alter the whole nature of the race by sprinting the first three miles in under 10-minutes. A pace like that will crack their nuts… These people are into running, not racing… We will put ourselves so far ahead of the field that they won't even be able to see us… [They] will be so far behind that many will be overcome with blind rage and confusion.”
The problem in the book is that Thompson characteristically ends up too intoxicated to compete and so the reader never finds out if his crazed crusade would work… until now. Having been in training for the past four weeks, tomorrow I plan to make Hunter proud by winning a [quarter] marathon using his theory. I'm going to sprint the first 5km and leave all my fellow Emirates Today colleagues in a state of disbelief as I speed off towards the horizon! I'll see you at the starting line, I'll be the one crouched down ready to sprint like a human torpedo.
[And now of course you want to know if the plan worked? Well, lets just say I was on the back page of the UAE's national papers -- leading the pack way ahead of the lagging Ethiopians and Kenyans. The photos are now pinned up on my bedroom wall.]
posted by Sheikh Gareemi Nahan at 11:56 AM
1 Comments:
Alright pee, not got time for a proper message, apologies! e-mail you soon tho as the C dogg has been filling me in on your life in the Arab state.
Goo
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